My children are all in bed, if not asleep, and the house for once is quiet. I was reading a story on the blog, Storyshucker, called “Birds of a Feather“. At one point, the author talks about how anything can make him feel sentimental, or nostalgic. Well, I was sitting on my bed reading, while nursing my little five month old son to sleep. I looked at him and thought about how tall he is getting, and how he still seems so little at the same time. When my babies were really little, I used a Boba Wrap to carry them while running errands, hiking, traveling……just about anytime I didn’t want to use a stroller because it was too bulky or unwieldy, or I just wanted to have my hands free while still experiencing the sweet sensation of snuggling such an amazing little person close to my body. Lately, my little boy has strained against the cocoon like sensation of being wrapped in the Boba.
So, this last trip we went on, I used an Ergo for my baby carrier. Now, the Ergo is great. It’s comfortable. It allows the baby to look around with a good field of view even in a front facing in position. My little boy was much more comfortable in the Ergo than he has been lately in the Boba Wrap. But it doesn’t have quite the same snuggly feeling. It highlights the fact that my baby is no longer a newborn, or even a very young baby. He is rolling over. He is eating baby food. It is one step forward in my child growing up.
My oldest child also picked out new rolling luggage for this trip, an R2D2 shaped roller that beeps just like the robot. She gave up her Trunki, a suitcase she can pull and ride at the same time, because she is too big for it. The Trunki she gave to her two year old sister, who is now old enough and coordinated enough to ride on it. Our little boy is our last baby. The Boba wrap I gave away this week to someone else who could use it. It felt like a bandaid being ripped off. Except, the sentimental pain has not really faded over the course of the week.
I keep remembering moments with one or another baby snuggled close to me in the Boba. I remember how excited Alyssa was when she first used her Trunki. Children grow up and leave these things behind. But even hints of these memories can send me into bittersweet nostalgia. I am both proud of how my children are learning and growing into wonderful people and want to simultaneously freeze each moment to be relived over and over.
Even though my children were in bed, my sentimentality urged me to go and say good night to them one more time. My two oldest were in bed talking about how they were going to sail that night to Neverland, to play with Peter Pan and Tinkerbell. They are growing up, but at least tonight they don’t seem to be in a hurry to do it. And that is just fine with me.